Don't Mess Hall with Texas

So here I am, bleary-eyed and complacent, sipping my coffee in Texas. We're in Austin for the tour opener, which has been moved to an indoor venue due to rain. When I arrived at the hotel last night I was happy to see an Au Bon Pain in the lobby. It's not that I love the place, but at least I knew I'd be assured of my coveted bagel and coffee this morning, which is not always easy to find on the road - especially when we're away from the Northeast. So, I awoke a few minutes ago and stumbled down to the lobby for this:

J: Hi, Everything bagel please

Girl: What's an Everything bagel?

J: An Everything bagel

G: I don't know what that is sir. I've never heard of it.

J: This is Au Bon Pain isn't it?

G: Yes sir.

J: Well, there's one in the picture, right there on the wall

G: Oh, yeah, we don't have those.

J: Ok, I'll have an onion bagel then

G: We don't have any of those either.

J: Well, what *do* you have?

G: Plain, cinnamon raisin or blueberry

J: I guess I'll have a cinnamon raisin then.

G: [takes out tiny frozen bagel from a Lenders bag]

J: Wait, *those* are your bagels? Don't you have those nice big ones that are made fresh in the back? This is Au Bon Pain right? It's French for 'oh! good bread' or something?

G: Our blueberry bagels are much bigger.

J: Ok, I'll have one of those then.

G: We're out of those.

J: Don't you have a bakery here, isn't that the point of this place?

G: Well, we make all of our own pastries and specialize in fresh croissants.

J: Ok, I'll take a croissant then.

G: We ran out.

J: Do you still have coffee?

G: Yes sir.

J: I'll take one please.

G: That will be four dollars and nine cents.

J: What's a dollar?



We're in Oklahoma on Sunday. Stay tuned...